• Aries (March 21-April 19)
  Your tattoos are something to be admired and emulated... more?
• Taurus (April 20-May 20)
  Some people have no idea how their words can hurt... more?
• Gemini (May 21-June 20)
  It's time to get your home shaped up, like a good Spring cleaning... more?
• Cancer (June 21-July 22)
  Wow. You just put on your thong bikini, and you look like... more?
• Leo (July 23-August 22)
  Your creative self has inspired you to make a chastity belt... more?
• Virgo (August 23-September 22)
  Tell-tale lipstick is on your mouth and shirt collar. Your wife... more?


Click on the door... if you must...



• Libra (September 23-October 22)
  Friends have a big influence on you. They tell you that a hunchback... more?
• Scorpio (October 23-November 21)
  Your house-guests have stayed too long, and you don't know how to... more?
• Sagittarius (November 22-December 21)
  Gas attacks continue to embarrass you. When you have an accident... more?
• Capricorn (December 22-January 19)
  This is your anniversary, and you better not forget like you did last year. more?
• Aquarius (January 20-February 18)
  Well, here you go again. You want to go to Vegas, but unfortunately... more?
• Pisces (February 19-March 20)
  Your daughter is in love with a gang-banger. When you meet him... more?